This blog in a lot of ways has become sort of a journal for me. I feel like I share a good deal of things on here through writing that I just can't come out and say. A lot of times it's the things that I'm really feeling or thinking that come through on the blog when everywhere else I am seemingly a much brighter person. Don't get me wrong I try to be a light to those around me everyday because honestly how else am I going to see the change in the world that I want to see. But a lot of days when it boils down to it I am honestly plain out sad, lonely, downright depressed. I get angry and frustrated with things just like anyone else does. And today was honestly one of those days. It's hard for me to understand how someone can get to me so much even after so long of trying so hard to make that not so. After not talking to someone for a few months and working on going my own direction in life, I was confronted today with an anonymous text message about someone that was not pleasing at best. I found it to be petty and distasteful. Yet instead of replying a few choice words to the person who sent it. I simply conveyed to the person to whom I'm sure it originated from that It was unnecessary and I did not enjoy it. What else could I have done? I mean sure I could have been a total jerk and all but since I would never wish things like this on anyone else I will not allow myself to do anything in response...plus I still care very much about this person and even if it means having to brush petty things like this aside. I only wish the best for this person everyday and for them to be happy. The worst part about any of it is that it seems to get me down for a few days which seemingly effects everything I do. I feel like I make leaps and bounds of progress on not letting things like this effect me and yet I see set backs like this all the time. I have found that writing on this blog and having a journal in general seems to help me a lot! I seem to have some sort of separation with things that trouble me when I write them out, whether they actually go away or not. If people read my posts or not I still feel a bit better every time I post. And for those of you who do follow and read my posts and convey words of wisdom and such...I appreciate it more than you all will ever know. As always I want to wish every single one of you the best every day! Have an amazing day!
-Jesse
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